I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
