You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
