its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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