Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
