Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dicks are not precious.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
