I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
