i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Randomize
