bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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