Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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