capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
