We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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