his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
