Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
