please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
