...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
