so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
