shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
