He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
