Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
