we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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