And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
