u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
