too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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