i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you mean i was at the winter classic?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
