Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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