1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize