Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
