y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
