Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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