chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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