Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
