please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
