Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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