Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
