Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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