Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
