you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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