There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
