Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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