Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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