You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
