at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
