I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
