Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
