"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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