id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What a dumb baby whore.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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