Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
