Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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