and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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