In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
