It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
